Glasses, an art book, projects, and hope

I realise I haven’t explained to you what happened to me and why there was such a long gap of eight months without any updates on the website.

Let’s keep it simple. Painfully simple, in fact. It’s depression. I’m not saying ‘it was’, because although I’m on the road to recovery, I’m not fully recovered yet. The proof is that it’s 6 o’clock in the morning, and I’m having a very unpleasant anxiety attack which I hope I can calm down.

What’s happened? I think I owe you an explanation right here, below. Because I need support, and your help, but also so that you know what’s happened, before I can throw myself as best I can into getting back on track with the projects and ranges for the Chants de Loss:

‘Let’s start at the beginning. Yes, back in 2024, I was already in a bad place mentally… and it got worse. And I did everything I could to avoid facing up to it. So, happily enough, I made things worse and ruined my mental health… and my physical health too!

But it was the collapse of my profession – in fact, of creative and artistic professions in general – due to AIGen, and in this case, I’ll be selfish and say my profession in particular, that of an illustrator, which was the main driving force behind my descent into hell, with depression, demotivation and a mountain of problems.

People don’t necessarily realise it, but not only do you lose over 60 per cent of your income because everyone prefers things that cost nothing, even if the quality and finish are rubbish (people don’t care, as long as they can say ‘ooh, that’s sooo beautiful! ”), but on top of that, your work gets stolen; you see people replicating it with just a few lines of prompt text (seriously, it’s horribly easy), setting up a sales website—also generated by IAGen—and selling drawings you’ve never done, but which look just like yours, and even have your signature on them.

It broke something inside me and I refused to admit the damage I’d suffered. So it all built up. I talk about it in more detail here (https://www.psychee.org/blog/me-today-and-its-not-fun/). The result is that I’ve wrecked my own life, and it’s going to take a lot of tape and elbow grease to patch it all back together. Yes, the medical term is: a nervous breakdown. Denying it would be ridiculous; in fact, I’m now on antidepressants.

The first step, amongst all the things I need to do to get back on my feet… work! And to be able to work, I urgently need to get new glasses (and, actually, I should have done this three years ago).

I’m 54 years old, I’m astigmatic, long-sighted and short-sighted. In short, I can’t see well from a distance, and up close, everything’s completely blurred: the closer I look, the more the world becomes a fog. I can no longer draw on paper, and it’s getting increasingly difficult on a graphics tablet. In theory, I need TWO pairs of glasses: one for everyday life, and one for drawing.

We’ll start with the pair of glasses for drawing; that’s the absolute priority. The aim is to raise 600 balles before the start of the new academic year in September. And that’s where I need your help, on Tipeee, the platform for supporting and donating to creators.

What will you get in return for your help? Well, my heartfelt gratitude and… a digital artbook! I don’t have many clients at the moment, but I reckon I might start getting some again from September, so during August I’m going to create my artbook. It’ll be a visual journey through my career as an illustrator, from my very first digitised drawings right at the end of the 20th century right up to my most recent work. It should be between 120 and 140 pages, roughly, with 90 per cent images and the rest text to accompany this journey.

Throughout this month, and until September, every contributor or donor on Tipeee will be added to the list of people who will receive my digital artbook once it’s finished, in addition to all the other rewards they’re expecting. I don’t know if this is enough to thank you, and if you have any ideas, please let me know, but it’s at least something I can do, and which, I hope, will make you happy.

Well… I don’t know what else to say that I haven’t already said. My posts are available on Tipeee, on Facebook, on Bluesky, and even on my blog! Thank you so much and I love you all…

And, yeah, right now, I’m actually crying. I love you all.”

(below, the cover and a few images from my artbook)